Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
