i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
