Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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