Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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