I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
