She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
