you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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