so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
