Only a mothe r could love this liver
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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