Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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