Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Do vagina's smell?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
