I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
