Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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