I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I want to have your abortion
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
