Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
