hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
