well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
