The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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