I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
