I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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