Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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