I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
