Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
