i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
