Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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