I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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