wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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