it was like his penis was on wheels.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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