i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
