I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
