sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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