She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
