sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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