i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
