so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
