i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
