ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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