So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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