I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
