Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
