I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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