She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
