it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
