I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
