he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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