My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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