how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
