$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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