were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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