He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
